Alternatives – Part 2

You can figure out which video comes first

Video Teaching on “Alternatives” – Part 1

Here is part 1 of a teaching I did this week on “Alternatives”

Lying Redefined

The long-standing Attorney General of Connecticut has been caught and skewered by his own words. According to this New York Times investigative report, he has publicly claimed to have served in Vietnam in the 70s, whereas records show he never left our country.

As he realized he had been caught in a lie, here is his response (in part):

Surrounded by supporters and veterans, Mr Blumenthal made an admission of sorts. “I did mispeak on a few occasions out of hundreds I have attended,” he said. But he added: “I will not allow anyone to take a few misplaced words and impugn my record.

Lying is called “misspeaking”. Of course, it is misspeaking, if what he means is he should not have spoken what he did. But he clearly is implying he accidentally claimed to have been in Vietnam on more than one occasion.

Is it any wonder our faith in politicians is at an all-time low? But before any of us feel “high and mighty”, let’s review the things we said yesterday. Did we “misspeak” in any way? Any exaggerations? Any judgmental or cynical comments about co-workers or friends? Did we lead people to believe we are one thing when we truly are something else?

I’ll stop. I don’t like what I see in the mirror.

The Alternative Approach to Marriage Counseling

I won’t bother giving them fake names to protect their identities. I don’t have permission to share the details of their story and I’ve lost touch with them. But it really doesn’t matter; their story is universal these days. He worked too much and distanced himself from his wife over many years of being married. Every year, she grew more angry at him. She let that anger color her decisions and, as a result, she easily entered into another relationship. Her husband found out she was cheating on him and she freely admitted it. I do know the details of that initial fight and I don’t really have to share them here. It wasn’t any more dramatic than the confrontations in a million other relationships. Both of them spent a sleepless night wondering if they should contact a divorce lawyer. They both cried. They spent that night in different places, both physically and emotionally. But for some very unusual reasons,

Revealing the Hidden Motives

While waiting for my flight to be called in an airport, I checked my cell phone. I dialed the voice mailbox and found there were three urgent messages – all from the same man. He was the husband of a woman I had been counseling and he told me he needed to talk that afternoon. Of course, he had no way of knowing I wasn’t even in California at that moment, so I forgave his presumption that I would be able to drop everything to see him. As I was listening to his last desperate voicemail, he called in live time.

“Mike, I’m glad I finally got you on the phone. I need to see you immediately.”

“Bill, I’m in Arizona right now. Can you tell me what is going on…perhaps one of my co-workers can help you with your problem.”

“Mike, it really has to be you. I’m sorry to be so insistent, but no one else can help with this”. I should stop and say I already knew what this was about and that this was no emergency.

Hidden Motives for Marriage Counseling

I sat with my wife at our assigned table for the graduation reception with other students and professors of the nursing faculty. I quickly learned I was the only spouse in this group, and therefore the only “civilian” in medical terms. Graciously, they ignored me, knowing I had little to add to their discussions and plans. They spoke of going on to Masters, Doctorates and Post-doctorates, the profs trying to convince the students to continue on at the Alma Mater. I threw in a comment occasionally, content to let my wife carry the conversation .

Then she left to run an errand. At that moment, they all noticed me simultaneously.