My Nominee for “Mother of the Year”

I would love to post a picture of the woman who is my personal nominee for “Mother of the Year“, but I can’t.

I have never met her. I don’t even know her name. But I know what she did and I’m very impressed.

Last Friday, I helped chaperone a dance at our local high school gym. My job was to guard one of the back entrances so teens couldn’t sneak out that way or let their friends in without paying. To the credit of the students, no one tried to do either. 

But because I was hanging on the edge of the crowd, I witnessed many conversations between students. I noticed two 14-year old freshmen girls more than anyone. They were having a fantastic time, dancing with each other, laughing, doing the “Dougie”, eating pizza and giggling up a storm. Here’s how I knew they were 14.

At least four times during the evening, a tall older-looking young man approached one of the girls and asked her to dance. I didn’t hear every one of their conversations, but each time he left alone without her on his arm. However, I did hear the final conversation and I am impressed. Here’s how it went down.

The young man asked the girl to dance with him again.

“You’re sixteen, aren’t you?” she asked

“Yeah…I’m a Junior”

“Well, I’m fourteen and you’re too old for me. All night long you’ve been hitting on me and I keep telling you I am not dancing with a 16-year old. My mom told me all the lines older guys would use tonight and you’ve used every single one of them. I’ve asked you nicely to leave me alone. You’re too old for me. I just want to dance with my friend. If you don’t go away, I’m going to get angry!”

This boy’s eyes came an inch out of his skull and he quickly slinked away. The girls went back to giggling and dancing as I stood up and applauded them. They didn’t even notice I was there.

But I noticed one person who wasn’t. Her amazing mother.

Who is Laughing Today?

A percentage of those reading this rant will label me a humbug. But remember that the role of social commentator is an important one; one whose responsibility includes saying the hard things. So let me make an observation on the lines of people camping out at Target, Best Buy and Toys R Us this morning. People are laughing at you and it’s not just your family members who stayed in bed.

It’s the so-called “filthy rich” that you are protesting on Wall Street and Main street.

On the same news broadcasts that featured people camping out at city halls across America, even on Thanksgiving, we saw identical tents and tarps in front of the major retail stores getting ready for Black Friday and its step-sister, Grey Thursday Evening. The people who got pepper-sprayed, evicted, ridiculed and thrown in jail could have snagged a big-screen television if they had moved a few blocks away. (Update: This scene from Los Angeles underscores that the wrong people are moving from one location to the other).

Don’t people realize it is the system of buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have that helps the Wealth Gap to form? If the wealthy know one thing it is that there is a sucker born every minute. In Jesus’ day, there were people who camped out in the Temple to sell pigeons at a 500% markup to the poor, who could only afford a pigeon for their offering to God. Jesus “occupied” their storefronts and turned over their tables as a prophetic act, proclaiming the original intention of the Court of the Gentiles was prayer not marketing. But I can imagine that even though people were mesmerized that someone would have the audacity to take this stand, an hour later someone was already back in line to buy a pigeon or exchange their money for the temple offering coins.

If it really bothers you that the rich are getting richer, stop allowing their advertising to split your brain into purchasing cubicles. You decide (totally apart from marketing) what you want, need, should purchase. In addition, look at those companies, especially smaller ones, whose approach to business takes more into account than profit. Look at how they re-invest their profits, how they treat their employees, how they add to the community.

My wife and I were traveling through Portland a few months ago, and we stopped into Panera Bread for lunch. We sought it out because we knew what that particular store stood for. They are a non-profit business that does not have cash registers or prices. They take donations for the food they offer and almost all of the money goes into local concerns. From their explanatory letter, here is a sample:

Panera Cares is a new kind of cafe – one that exemplifies an entirely different way of giving
back. It is a community cafe of shared responsibility. One of the goals of this charitable program
is to ensure that everyone who needs a meal gets one. People are encouraged to take what they
need and donate their fair share. There are no prices or cash registers, only suggested donation
levels and donation bins.
“The vision for the Panera Cares cafe was to use Panera’s unique restaurant skills to address real
societal needs and make a direct impact in communities,” said Shaich. “Thus, the Foundation
developed these community cafes to make a difference by addressing the food insecurity issues
that affect millions of Americans.”

There are hundreds, if not thousands of such businesses. I ate at this restaurant and it was just as delicious as all other Paneras in the country. The difference is my soul felt fed more than my body when I left that place.

Can you say that about the store you muscled your way through at 5 a.m. this morning? If you think I am just peeing on everyone’s parade, let me tell you why I am writing this. I believe there is a way to bring prosperity back into our communities and end the cycles of economic inequity around us. It cannot happen by legislation, taxes, protests or rhetoric. It happens when we take action to support local companies who give us what we need, who take care of their employees and who invest in their communities. Yes, for the most part, I am speaking of small businesses.

It also happens when we stop buying things because of advertising and peer pressure. Take a long look at your life priorities and see if your spending matches up to them. Or, get some life priorities.

Mars Hill Lives Up to Its Name – Good News

As we have said previously, Mars Hill (Areopagus) was a place of heated discussion and a platform where the greatest issues of Greek society were discussed and, potentially, resolved.

I am delighted to report that Mars Hill Church in Seattle and the Mars Hill churches here in Sacramento have come to  a great resolution of their Name dilemma.

You can read Pastor Scott Hagan’s response to the phone calls he received from Mars Hill Seattle on his blog: www.scotthagan.net. Here are some highlights of that letter:

The issue of the Cease and Desist Letter seemed to strike a raw nerve in the broader body of Christ.  I will say more about that in a moment.  But first, I want to confirm that three staff members from Mars Hill Seattle called and asked forgiveness for any stress and confusion that was caused by the letter we received from theStokes & Lawrence law firm.  That meant a great deal to me and the other pastors involved (Jason Yarbrough of Mars Hill Church in Fairfield and James Seiler of Mars Hill Church in Galt).  Both Chris Pledger and Dave Bruskas were clear and sincere that the proper step should have been to call us first.  We accepted their apology and would like the Mars Hill Seattle congregation to know that your leaders took this step (We are assuming on behalf of Pastor Mark Driscoll).  They assured us they would not seek any type of legal action, even though they did apply for and were awarded a federal trademark in August of this year for both the name and the logo design.  Mars Hill Seattle also posted on their blog late saturday night a message of clarity and grace.  It was greatly appreciated.

Our concerned stemmed from a letter we received from Stokes & Lawrence asking that we cease all use of our name, domain names and all artwork. The letter stated we had a two-week window for compliance.  It was very unsettling knowing that, if enforced by a court (which it appears it could), it would cost our ministry and our two satellite plants thousands of dollars to rebrand, redesign, reprint and re-educate our regions of the changes……

Plans for our church here in Sacramento began in 2005. At the time we planted this work, I had never heard of Mars Hill Seattle or Pastor Mark Driscoll.  I was aware of the Michigan Mars Hill Church (I pastored in Grand Rapids from 2001 to 2005)  and also the college located in Mars Hill, North Carolina.  By choosing that name, I was not out to emulate anyone, I simply thought it to be a great name for a church……

My first knowledge of the Mars Hill Church in Seattle happened sometime in 2007, nearly two years after the planning and launch of our church.  Our logo was designed in 2005 by Scott Taylor, the husband of our worship pastor, Darnisha Taylor.  He reassured me a few days ago that, when he designed the logo, he also had never heard of Mars Hill Church in Seattle.  Scott Taylor’s design is completely coincidental.  As a matter of fact, our original design was a square with the shaded circle and ‘M’ inside the square……

The letter from Stokes & Lawrence instructed us to contact their law office (not the church) with a response. I sent an email, of behalf of all three of us as pastors very early on Wednesday morning, October 19^th to Leslie Ruiter of Stokes & Lawrence.  I asked if she would pass our cell phone numbers on to Pastor Mark Driscoll, as we felt this should be a pastor to pastor conversation and not something involving a secular lawyer.  By noon the same day (October 19^th) we received an email from Leslie Ruiter:

Sent from my iPhone

On Oct 19, 2011, at 1:06 PM, Leslie Ruiter <Leslie.Ruiter@stokeslaw.com> wrote:

Dear Pastor Hagan and team: Thank you for your response. I am completely on board with an organization-to-organization conversation, without me (the trademark lawyer) in the middle. Mars Hill’s goals, and I assume yours as well, would be to gain an understanding of the situation and reach an amicable resolution that causes no harm to either. I will pass on your information below to Chris Pledger at Mars Hill, and he or one or more of the other pastors will be in contact.

Best regards,

Leslie C. Ruiter

By Thursday afternoon we had not heard from the church. With our two week window closing there was growing concern because of the potential financial ramifications.  The same day I received a call from a close pastor friend here in Sacramento, Mike Phillips.  He and I, along with a group of about 8 others, meet weekly as pastors for relationship and prayer.  He is a seasoned leader who pastors Gateway Church here in Sacramento. I had shared with them on Monday what was happening and asked for their guidance, prayer and counsel.  These are Baptist, Charismatic, Non-Denominational and Reformed guys with various backgrounds.  It’s a great cross section of friends who are church planters in the area. Mike told me he knew of some people that currently attend Mars Hill Seattle and asked for my permission to contact them to see if they had heard anything about this publicly. He also asked to blog about it to see if any other churches had received the same communication.  I gave him my blessing, but I did not read or proof Mike’s blog before it was posted.  Mike’s blog on the same day was a plea on behalf of a friend (me) whom he felt was facing a potentially unjust situation.

I was speaking Friday (October 21^st) in Boston when I finally received a very congenial voicemail from Chris Pledger.  By now the social media networks were buzzing with some knowledge about this cease and desist letter.  There was zero antagonism in Chris’ voice or the message he left.  That afternoon we had a conference call between myself, Chris Pledger and Justin Holcomb.  Both of them were great and shared they were very sorry for sending a legal letter first. They communicated that their intent now was simply to remove confusion and to ask if we could alter the logo that they had been using since 1996.  I shared our story, including how our design by Scott Taylor in 2005 was totally innocent, and that when our church was planted in 2005 we had no knowledge that a Mars Hill Church in Seattle existed.

I agreed to start the process of a logo redesign since they now owned the trademark.  They assured me that even though the letter from Stokes & Lawrencecalled for a name change, that was off the table.  On Saturday, I received a voicemail from Dave Bruskas reiterating the same information and again reaffirming that the letter should not have been sent as a means of first contact.

I want to thank the Mars Hill Seattle staff for demonstrating a genuine brotherhood and passion for the Kingdom of God.  It feels like I’ve made some new leadership friends over the weekend in Dave, Justin and Chris.  I also want to say from the bottom of my heart that I am honestly sorry for any part I may have played in fueling the fires of disunity.  My emotions ran high, and in hindsight I should have tried to call the church office directly instead of communicating only with the lawyer as I was instructed to in the original letter.  I could have demonstrated more patience as a leader and for that I am sorry. Would the leadership of Mars Hill have ever called me ( Remember, I had given them our numbers via the lawyer) had there not been such an intense social media backlash last thursday?  All I can say is that the three men who did call me sounded more than legit, so I will choose to believe they would have and enjoy living reconciled instead of suspicious.  I look froward to meeting with Chris, Dave and Justin someday.  Justin even mentioned that he is from an Assemblies of God church.

We all know that social media is a powerful thing, and last Thursday’s plethora of posts, reposts and comments proved that once again.

Scott has some more great things to say and I advise you to go there and read it.

My final word is this: This is how the Body of Christ is supposed to work. I applaud both Mars Hill churches for living up to their historical, biblical context. May God’s blessings rest on all of you. Now I go back to my 100 readers a day instead of 45,000.

Mike P.

Another Argument on Mars Hill

UPDATE: The matter has been resolved…go to our link here for details

In ancient Athens, there was a place called the Areopagus where philosophers and theologians of all kinds met to discuss various ideas and movements. We know from history there was a certain decorum expected there, no matter how strange the ideas. Within the Areopagus, all people were allowed to present their ideas and could leave unscathed (except perhaps in reputation). The Areopagus was found at the top of Mars Hill and the debates there are sometimes referred to as Mars Hill discussions. I am calling all the parties I will refer to in this blog back to that founding principle of Mars Hill.

I don’t know how many churches in America are called Mars Hill. I do know three of them; I have been assured there are many more. As far as I know, most of these churches have no connection with each other. Some of them belong to denominations, and some do not. The only ones who seem to be organically connected are those which have been “daughtered” off one of the other churches. But this short article is about the three Mars Hill churches I do know about.

The first of these to be started was Mars Hill Seattle, pastored by Mark Driscoll. He founded the church in 1996 and to this day it is one of the fastest growing churches in America and certainly one of the largest in Seattle. I am not exaggerating when I observe that Pastor Mark Driscoll has become one of the most controversial pastors in America. He regularly makes statements concerning the books, sermons and beliefs of other Christians. Many people consider his views on family, family life and procreation to be ultraconservative.

The second Mars Hill was founded in 1999 in the city of Grand Rapids, Michigan by Rob Bell. Pastor Rob Bell is known for his books and videos and is perhaps just as controversial as Mark Driscoll, though often for much different reasons. His latest book, “Love Wins” presents a much different view on hell than most other Evangelicals. I do not know if Driscoll and Bell know each other personally (I suspect they do), but I doubt there is much appreciation of one man for the other. Let’s agree to say they do not line up with each other doctrinally.

The third Mars Hill I know seems caught in the middle. It is pastored in Sacramento, California by a friend of mine, Scott Hagan. Scott planted another church years ago in the Sacramento area, then moved to pastor a mega-church in Michigan and is now back leading at Mars Hill in Sactown. I have Pastor Scott’s permission to share what I am going to write next. Several weeks ago, Scott and his Sacramento congregation received a “Cease and Desist” letter which came from attorneys representing the Seattle Mars Hill Church.  They were told that the Seattle Mars Hill had copyrighted the name “Mars Hill” and they demanded that the California Mars Hill churches stop using the name and any logos with similar lettering.

I was flabbergasted. First, I could not believe that a church would try and copyright the name of their church. I suppose if you wanted to make some money on the side, you could lease the name out to others. (My friend Ken thought it would be smart to copyright the name “First Baptist” and stick franchise stickers on the name and concept…I applaud his entrepreneurial spirit). But to outright disallow others from using a name that is found in the Bible because you want a monicker and label that only recognizes YOU seems the very epitome of pride and arrogance.

Second, that a church would take legal action to require other churches to comply violates both the letter and the spirit of the Word of God. The Bible is explicit when we are told not to take other believers to court when the issues regard spiritual matters. The naming of a church is certainly a spiritual matter and it is hard to see how someone could theologically skirt around this.

This issue should have been placed before the Body of Christ. Since it wasn’t, I decided to do that here. I am hoping word of this spreads quickly across the country. Why should we allow Mars Hill Seattle to do this without the rest of us voicing our opinion? If you are as outraged by this as I am, then I ask you to let friends on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus know about it. Reprint this openly on your blogs. Call Mars Hill Seattle and let them know how you feel about this. Perhaps if we try this case in the court of public opinion we can prevent this from making evangelicals a further laughing stock in the media.

Please hear my heart Pastor Driscoll….Mars Hill was a place where anyone could freely come and present their ideas. You called your church Mars Hill with at least some of that in mind. I call you back to that principle now and publicly call you to renounce this silly and ill-advised cease and desist order.

UPDATE: Several people from Mars Hill church in Seattle have contacted me and let me know the intention of the Cease and Desist letter is to have Mars Hill Sacramento change their logo. Pastor Hagan has not given me permission to post the letter from the lawyer: However, though I am not a lawyer, the first two paragraphs make it pretty plain they are to change the Name of the church, the Name of the website and the Logo and artwork. The next two pages explain the rationale in legalese. If the original intent was only to have Mars Hill Sacramento change the artwork, that should be communicated clearly by legal counsel. At this point, it clearly says they must change their name also. That is all I can say about this issue without being able to post a copy of the document.

A FINAL WORD: Some things are taking place between the two Mars Hill pastoral teams at the moment for which I am grateful. More power and prayers to them all. If anything is resolved, I will have Pastor Scott himself post the results here so everyone can see what can happen outside of the court system. Thank you everyone for wonderful comments and discussion. I have ended the discussion for now on this topic since we have covered just about every angle. I am overwhelmed by the response.

A Christian Business in the Left’s Crosshairs – Michelle Malkin – National Review Online

A number of American companies have espoused openly Christian values. There are many non-theists who are troubled by this. But no one really minds when In-N-Out puts “John 3:16″ on the bottom of their cups, do they?

But, the stakes get higher when political and social agendas meet Christianity. Recently, Chick-fil-A got in trouble with the New York Times and Washington Post. Let Michelle Malkin explain from her column:

Over the past month, several progressive-activist blogs have waged an ugly war against Chick-fil-A. The company’s alleged atrocity: One of its independent outlets in Pennsylvania donated some sandwiches and brownies to a marriage seminar run by the Pennsylvania Family Institute, which happens to oppose same-sex marriage.

In the name of tolerance, the anti-Chick-fil-A hawks sneered at the company’s main product as “Jesus Chicken,” derided its no-Sunday-work policy, and attacked its operators as “anti-gay.” Michael Jones, who describes himself as having “worked in the field of human rights communications for a decade, most recently for Harvard Law School,” launched an online petition drive at http://www.change.org “demanding” that the company disavow “extreme anti-gay groups.” Facebook users dutifully organized witch hunts against the company on college campuses.

via A Christian Business in the Left’s Crosshairs – Michelle Malkin – National Review Online.

Do you feel this attack has any social, legal or ethical merit?

Fantastible Reasons to Be in Christian Community- Part 1

I love inventing words, and this one says it all: Fantastible. It is a combination of the words “fantastic” and “horrible”. As a word, it mixes both meanings into one collective, emotional blend.

I use this word, because there is nothing fantastic about Christian community that isn’t, at the very same time, horrible. Depending on how last week went, most people reading this are going to agree with one word or the other – but few will agree with both. It is like looking at this drawing of the old woman/young woman. Some see the old woman, some see the young one. It is impossible to see both at the same time. When your experience of other Christians is “fantastic” it is hard to believe it is horrible. When it is “horrible”, nothing is going to convince you any time soon that it is fantastic. Let me give an example from my own life.

Boundary Violations – Part 1

Brent came home from the golf driving range to find his wife crying on the sofa. The baby had been up all night – again – and Terri was too tired to care if he saw her flood of emotional exhaustion. Brent held her for awhile and they talked about all the changes that had poured into their lives since the birth of their now 3-month old daughter. Brent rubbed her feet and told her he would be happy to get up with their girl any night she felt too tired. Terri mumbled some thanks and then looked him directly in the eye. He didn’t like that look. It seemed calculated and threatening to him.

“Do you know what would really make me happy Brent?

Standing Up to the “Experts”

Here is reason number 72 why I love my wife. She was forced to take another Math course on the journey to securing her advanced nursing degree. She likes math courses about as much as being licked on the mouth by a dog, so she had a certain amount of momentary depression. But as she usually does, she sucked it up and bit into the curriculum with gusto.

On one exam (taken online), she noticed that two of the questions had at least two possible answers, depending on how you interpreted the question. In both cases, she interpreted the question differently than the examiner anticipated, which means she got the “wrong” answers. Even with that, she got a high grade on the test (no big surprise if you know her), but she couldn’t leave it alone. For over a week, she went back and forth challenging the Professor to look at the test from her point of view. I knew it was a hopeless cause. Even if she was right, he was never going to admit it.

Friendly Fire: Silence Without Love

Two guys, Joe and Harry, figured out that most of us are ignorant of many aspects of our personality. When I say they “figured this out”, what I mean is they quantified it into an axiom and a graphic way of looking at this problem. Here is a picture of the Johari Window:

As you look at the picture, notice that there are two areas of our lives that are functionally invisible to us. There are also two areas which are functionally invisible to others. For others to see the deeper parts of ourselves, we have to be willing to allow them to see through that pane of glass, so to speak. For us to learn about the blind areas of our lives, we must be willing to have others speak into our lives and evaluate the consequences. Only then does the “unknown” pane of our lives begin to become more clear as well.

How does this relate to Friendly Fire? Let me illustrate.