Solving Procrastination Today (Not Tomorrow)

I am distractible, impulsive, mildly lazy, and…..something else (I had it in my mind, but I thought about something I wanted to say later and then forgot it). Did I say distractible?

These qualities/handicaps are a perfect storm when it comes to procrastination. Not only do I secretly want to postpone everything until after I finish playing Scrabble online, I also can’t remember what it was I felt so passionate about five minutes before. In addition, in the middle of doing one thing, I get ideas about a half dozen  delicious activities while trying to avoid putting off something that is less delectable.

Do you see my problem? Do you relate to my problem? Of course you do. David Glenn, writing about surveys among post-graduate students (yes, those guys and gals who have actually proven they know how to work without watching re-runs of Lost as the hours tick closer to deadlines), says that 60% of these good students practice regular procrastination. In addition, the majority experience some level of self-loathing because of it.

This has got to stop. In my meanderings through 40 years of being in the work-force, I have actually learned to stay on task and complete necessary assignments. Years ago, I wallowed in self-loathing a lot, but now I rarely ever do it. I actually have learned how not to procrastinate – even with my personal proclivities in that direction.

Here’s how I do it. You may find better ways to handle yours, but at least you can start with mine. With procrastinators, a starting place is always a helpful place.

Six Ways to Avoid Procrastination

1. Do things as soon as you think about them. This one idea changed everything for me. I have so many things whiz through my mind like Space Invaders. I used to get annoyed at how whimsy my brain was – until I learned some of the ‘shooting star’ thoughts were actually things I had been avoiding. For instance: I was typing this article and realized (for the fiftieth time) that my screen is getting pretty gross with dust and fingerprints. I took that moment of personal disgust to propel myself out of the chair to find the cleaner and clean it off. Then, since I had the cleaner, I did the same thing to my tablet and smart phone. I had been putting off cleaning all three. This is what can happen if you leverage your distractedness and use it to approach a task you’ve been avoiding.

Yesterday in the grocery store, I saw some place-mats that looked perfect for the dining room table. In examining their price, I saw the word “Mat” and thought of a friend named Matt. I was supposed to call him and set up a lunch. So on the spot in the grocery store, I called. If I had left it until I was finished shopping, 3200 ideas would have already traveled through my mind, rubbing Matt off the face of this earth.

2. Understand why we don’t want to do certain things. Anything you have been consistently putting off is usually something you don’t want to do in the first place. The next time you put it off, ask yourself why you don’t want to do this. Then imagine what is the worst thing that could happen if you finish the task. Usually, it is our vague sense of impending problems that get in the way of doing work; and this procrastination actually cause more problems.

I normally don’t like talking on the phone. I like to see a person’s face and read their body language so I can catch the bigger picture. So I often procrastinate making phone calls. Recently, I asked myself what would be the worst thing that could happen if I did mis-read what they were saying. When that didn’t feel too onerous, I found it was easier to make the call.

3. Do things that have to be done a little at a time. At least half of the jobs I put off until later are huge. I get easily daunted by things that are going to take several hours to complete. This includes many household chores, some writing assignments and most errands that involve driving downtown.

But in particular, getting ready for major meetings often takes at least two hours. Unfortunately, setting aside strategy thinking causes me to miss some prime preparation thoughts; ideas that would have aided me if I had done them sooner. To prevent my lazy mind from taking over, I break the large tasks down into stages. Then I complete as much of the task as I can in a short period of time. The accomplishment of part of the goal makes it easier at a later point to come back to it.

This winter, I was building a retaining wall in the back yard for a new garden. It was so big in my mind that I literally put it off for a year. To overcome this, I considered the steps I would have to take to get it done. There were several dozen. But once I started to check off the completed items, I realized I was more than half done in so much less time than I feared.

4. Do unpleasant tasks at the same time every day. If there are items that have to be done regularly, get into a habit of doing them: a) early in the day b) at the same time every day. This is a type of behavioral conditioning and it works. Anything we do at the same time every day gets put into a mental place that brings a sense of satisfaction. There is even a payoff reward our brain gives us when we complete something that is done every day.

5. Do a bunch of tasks you’ve been putting off one right after another. The idea here is to get on a roll and when you get that sense of accomplishment, jump immediately into another one of your tasks that has lurked like a mocking sailor. For me, it has to do with phone calls again. Once I break the cell phone barrier and make the call, I ask myself what other calls need to be made. Since I always make lists of people I have to contact, one glance tells me who to call. When I have already called one person, the next person gets easier. At some point, our brain says “resistance is futile” and stops giving such a hard time.

6. Know how to keep lists. The best way to keep a list is to have it close to you at all times. I prefer an online list-maker called Wunderlist. It is free, available for every device and is the easiest program to use. And I look at it on average about a dozen times a day. It is always open on my computer, phone and tablet. And, when great ideas go through my head, I just pop it onto one of my lists and forget about it…until I read that list.

So what item is hanging over your head? Stop wallowing and put some of this into practice.

Are Relevant Churches Really Relevant?

This is the fourth most popular post of the past ten years. It is part of our series where we reprint the top ten blog entries. Enjoy.

Some friends have suggested I spend too much time on the Internet. It depends on what you mean by “too much time”. I have a counter on my computer that keeps track of every minute I’m online; it rarely goes over one hour a day. But I get a lot done with that hour. I have a newsreader that collects all my favorite blogs, newspapers and magazines and trims them down to headlines. Therefore, I sometimes read things very quickly without deep reflection. Occasionally, it takes days until I react and respond to what I’ve read. What I’m going to talk about next is a result of one of those situations. I cannot even find the original article this idea came from. (I am sure one of my readers will find it and help me out, so I’m not worried about plagiarism).

I want to talk about the word “Relevant”. In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya (of the Princess Bride): “I do not think that word means what you think it means”. And it is the collective brain trust of contemporary church leaders who may have misunderstood the meaning and direction of this word. This sometimes happens with words; normally it’s not that big a deal. For instance, people often get the words “irrespective” and “regardless” mixed up. People sometimes jumble their definitions and thereby combine them wrongly to make “irregardless”. Irrespective means to know something and then to have no respect for it. Regardless means that you choose not to regard an issue. They are close in meaning, but not exactly the same. For example, I certainly understand what goes into the mind of a man who commits adultery. But I have no respect for his actions. Irrespective of his actions, I take my own actions. But I cannot disregard his actions, especially if they happen to someone close to me. In the case of adultery, I cannot act “regardless”, even though I can act “irrespective”. You see, they don’t mean the same thing.

Relevant is close to another word “relative” and the similar adjective “relational”. Relevant means to stick to the issue at hand. Relative means to relate to something or someone else. Relevant has to do with issues, controversies, position statements, movements and ideas. Relative has to do with people, choices, culture, tastes and situations. A person who is arguing in a political debate and is asked about their position on war will be relevant if their answer has to do with war. If it has to do with political parties, economics or sports, they are probably not relevant to the issue at hand. A great synonym for “relevant” is “pertinent”. The question a person needs to ask when trying to decide if they’re being relevant is this one: Does my approach pertain to the issue at hand?

If someone wants to be relative or relate to others, they should adopt similar styles, dress, language, approach and attitudes. They must agree with those positions to be relative to the issues at hand. Here then, is the big difference between being Relevant and being Relational: A relevant approach addresses the key issues exactly, irrespective of whether they agree with the position of others. A Relational or Relative person seeks to identify as closely with the position and approach of others. So with these definitions in mind, let’s ask ourselves this question: Those churches who claim to be “relevant” to today’s culture, are they indeed that way or are they more “relative” to the dominant memes of our day?

I will be over-generalizing, but this is the only way to make this essay shorter than an entire book. I hear of churches constantly using the word relevant to refer to their public services. What do they usually mean by that? This video mocks the trend, but it is not really all that misguided. Here then are some ways that churches represent themselves as “relevant”:

• Casual, weekend style clothing.
• Modern styles of music, usually reflecting latest trends in style similar to what is played in Christian concerts.
• Use of video, movies, television shows, commercials and trends to show commonality with audience
• Expensive lighting, sound systems and printed material, often eclipsing other public non-profit organizations
• Use of latest software and hardware for multimedia presentations
• Sermon topics relate to the everyday life of listeners, especially in areas of raising children, marriage, finances and use of leisure time
• Advertising material, including websites, brochures and radio/television ads are high quality and often produced by professional advertising agencies.

This, then is what most churches mean by Relevant. I contend that this is the absolute wrong use of the word and has reduced the concept to something much more shallow than it was intended to represent. I will share two reasons why I think we are using this word at the end of this article, but let’s see what this approach really is: Relational.

When church leaders model their dress after the manner people usually wear on the weekend, they are trying to help the average person feel more comfortable. There is no “issue” or “agenda” with this. There is no pertinent value a church seeks to communicate other than this: We are like you. We relate to you. You relate to us. We don’t think we’re better than you. (I do have a minor problem with this: We wouldn’t disdain a bank teller for wearing a tie, or a waiter, or people going out on the town…we allow for all of those to dress for the occasion. What we are saying to people in church is ‘this is not really a special occasion’). Sermon topics that relate to where people live every day are relational. They may also be relevant (ie. when they deal with particular issues that spring from daily life), but generally the approach is to have people know the preacher is aware of what issues accrue when his hearers live their daily life. The style of music is designed to relate to what people are listening to. Many churches now actually use songs written by secular music artists and then give the songs contemporary Christian meaning. This is rarely done to address particular issues, but more to show people that the church is not out of touch with what they listen to. The same can be said of the use of video, television and pop cultural references. All of it is packaged to tell this culture: “We’re one of You”.

That is not being Relevant: That is being Relational. And in the words of Jerry Seinfeld “not that there’s anything wrong with that”.  (You see, I can be relational as well).

I have occasionally joked that I have the secret formula for getting 10,000 people in church next Sunday: Just contract with Justin Bieber to be the special musical guest. It’s the church equivalent of “sweeps week” for the television networks. The idea behind these gimmicks is that if people keep coming, they will eventually fold into the congregation and learn more about God. I hesitated even writing this paragraph because someone is now looking up the phone number for Bieber’s agent.

Now let me tell you what “Relevant” looks like. If you always look and sound the same as everyone else, you are entirely unnecessary. That isn’t being relevant, it is being a parrot. Relevant means we look at the issue everyone is speaking of and realize what isn’t being said and then say it. When Martin Luther pounded his 95 Theses on the Wittenberg church door, he was addressing one of the most irritating issues of his day: That some priests were selling indulgences as a way to raise money, promising people a quick doorway into heaven if they purchased a large number of them. No one was standing in the way of this false teaching, except Luther. Everyone was copying what they heard from friends because it was safer that way and others liked them. I have to ask today if churches aren’t stuck in that same emotional rut. Like everyone else, we do want people to like us. We want them to hit “like” on Facebook. We want them to keep coming back to services week after week, even if all we’re doing is repackaging what 1000 others have said, perhaps better than us.

Relevant, on the other hand,  is when Jesus noticed that people were being cheated right in the middle of a prayer room and then, in a prophetic act, he upended the tables of the money-changers. Relevant is Jackie Pullinger pulling drug addicts off the streets of Hong Kong and getting them clean when the dominant society ignores them. Relevant is Erin Gruwell addressing drug wars and the deaths of her students with a radical plan to change their learning style. Relevant is Peggy Drake who worked to comfort AIDS sufferers in West Africa while most Christians were saying it was God’s judgment against homosexuals. Relevant is a preacher resigning from his wealthy church because they would not adopt a lifestyle of caring for the poor. Relevant is almost always counter-cultural, it addresses today’s news with timeless truths, it lives the way it believes and garners respect because it doesn’t try to bribe people into following its viewpoints.

How Relevant is your church?

Without a doubt, by fleshing out these definitions, you will realize that churches will fall into four categories:

1. Not Relevant, not relational
2. Relevant, but not relational
3. Relational, but not relevant
4. Both Relational and Relevant

Why then would churches choose to be relational and not particularly relevant? I think there are two reasons for this. First, being relational is much easier and does not cost us much. We all learned in elementary school that it went better for us if we adopted the latest trends and fashions and were friends with the most popular kids. Differing even a fraction from the dominant elementary school culture put us in the outcast group and we hated being relegated there. We still do. Pastors and church members don’t want to think their approach to living is all that much different than their neighbors. They want others to know they don’t indulge in the more extreme activities of secularism (like drug use and listening to Insane Clown Posse), but they are proud to be able to make a comment on the American Idol Final 8 or to express a preference for their favorite cocktail. It is easier to blend in.

Second, most of us don’t think counter-cultural living is valid. We wrongly look with suspicion on anyone who swims upstream on issues –  especially Christian issues. Note how decidely Rob Bell was excommunicated by people for his book on Hell even though most people had not read it. I remember when Tony Campolo’s wife came forward to talk about the issues related to her pro-choice stance. Not only was she summarily rejected by evangelicals, so was her husband. Though I disagreed with her on some points, she needed to bring the issue to the forefront. It was a pertinent voice in a sea of “sound-alike” Christian voices.

There are churches today that are both Relevant and Relational. They are seldom large churches, but I suspect fifty years from now they will be the ones we think back on fondly as having the biggest impact on our culture both secular and Christian. So, the question is this: Do you really want to be Relevant or just call yourself that while simpering away in Relational?

Why Men Should Not be Ordained

Asbury Professor, Ben Witherington nails this truth in a recent blog entry on why men should not be ordained.

This is how we often approach the logic behind excluding women from certain ministry positions. Well written.

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Shouldn’t Be Ordained

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.
8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.
7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.
6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.
5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.
4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.
3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.
2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.
1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

Easy Tether Comes Through

I often have to work on the run somewhere. Many times, that requires Internet access. But I have several limitations to that requirement:

1. I don’t like to use my phone when doing a lot of typing.
2. I can’t always find a Wifi hot spot
3. I am too cheap to buy a WiMax subscription
4. I don’t want to pay for my phone to create a hot spot for my computer (up to $40/month)
5. I don’t want to break the law by rooting or jailbreaking my phone.

I found the legal and affordable solution. The program “Easy Tether” does not root the phone and allows your phone to give Internet access to your computer. In fact, I did this entire article while in a cafe that does not have Internet access. Right now, it costs only $4.99 through Amazon’s App store.

I did have some problems with setup. My LG phone needed a software update to get it all to work. But after it did, I have had no problems at all. For many people, this article is gobbldygook. But for Technogeeks who want to use their phone to get internet for their computers, this is a reasonable solution.

Organizational Tips from Someone with ADD

When I tell people that I both have ADD and teach courses on how to get and stay organized, they look at me like I am in need of therapy. But think about it: Who has to worry about organization more than someone who can be distracted by the wind or humming? Here are some effective tricks to stay organized. As you would expect from someone with ADD, they are in no particular order.

1. Standardize your Morning: Because just about anything can get me headed on a tangent, my mornings are critical. If I get off on the wrong foot, I can never find the track again until it is too late. Here is what I do. I have exactly the same routine every morning. The same way to shower, shave, take my pills, do my exercises and write in my journal. There are no variations until all the essential stuff is done. And because I have done this so many times, I don’t have to think about what comes next.

2. Learn the TRAF method of dealing with clutter: My mother taught me this and she learned it from someone else all the way back to Jesus. I think. Regardless, this works wonders with things like mail, email, files, etc. TRAF stands for: Toss, Refer, Act or File. Let’s apply it to mail.  When you get your mail, do not put it on a desk. Deal with it right away. Toss everything and anything that you don’t absolutely need. That will be most of it. Then give mail to whomever it belongs. Don’t hold onto it yourself. Act on whatever needs your attention. If you don’t have time to act, have an “action” file that you look at three times a week. Whatever has to be saved for your records gets immediately filed. See, no clutter.

3. Whatever you leave for later will not get done until it has to. For instance, if you are tired and take your shoes off to relax, never assume you will put the shoes away later. Later almost never happens. Take ten seconds to do now what needs to be done and you will never have to do it at a less convenient time.

4. Assume every to-do list has too many items on it. We all place too much on a to-do list. I split my to-do list into morning, afternoon and evening. I only put a couple of things on for each time period. This way, I can better gauge how many things I can actually get done.

5. Realize that if you have been putting something off it is because you don’t want to do it. There are several options with this. Get an attitude change if you are putting off something that is absolutely your responsibility. Find someone better qualified. Find some way of not doing this onerous task. Find a different way of approaching it.

6. Break all huge tasks into many smaller ones. This is an old piece of advice, but it works. Most people with ADD cannot see big  pictures. With our son, we would only give him one thing to do at a time. Then when he was done that, we would give him the next thing. Instead of “clean your bedroom”, we would say “make your bed”. Instead of “do your homework”, we would say, “make an outline of five points for your history paper”.

7. When you take a break from a project, set a short time limit…use an alarm if possible. I can take a five minute break and stretch it into an hour if I’m not careful. Most people aren’t that extreme, but we do waste a lot of time. That said, don’t neglect taking breaks to let your mind rest when you’re working hard.

8. Do one thing you love and one thing you have been dreading every day. Get into the habit of both stretching yourself and rewarding yourself for a day well lived.

9. Respect people by being early. How many times have I had people say to me “why are you never late?” You would think that someone with ADD would be perpetually late. I learned years ago that being early for an appointment implies you count their time as valuable.  I arrive early by always assuming something will go wrong on my way there and giving myself extra time to get there.

10. Clean your work space every evening. Positive things are mentally  triggered when your work area is clean before ending the day.

11. Have a journal where you note the following at the end of every day: what you accomplished, what you want to change, what matters to you, what God has said to you that day.

“I have an idea for a book” he said.

I can honestly say I have heard the phrase “I have an idea for a book…” at least 100 times. Probably more. Most people think that writers love that phrase. Truth? It is one of the most loathsome phrases in existence.

When people say this, they usually mean one of three things:

1. I can’t write well, but this is what I would write about if I could.

2. I would love to start writing this some day when everything works together perfectly.

3. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could just skip all the work of writing and get to the part where it is published and I make money and people think I’m interesting and have ideas (well, at least one idea).

Don’t imagine that only non-writers utter “I have an idea…etc.”. When a writer says this, it usually means they have become emotionally constipated and may never write anything. You never hear a painter say they have an idea for a painting or a sculptor say they can visualize what they want to sculpt. They just paint or sculpt and it comes as it comes.

In her pithy book “Chapter after Chapter” Heather Sellers tells the story of the Perfect Rose. A man finds a perfect rose and he steals home with it to smell and admire it as long as he can. But as soon as he gets home, he realizes the rose will soon whither and he will lose its fragrance forever. So he sticks it in a vault and hides it away. A year later, he comes to the rose in the vault. As he opens the door, he doesn’t see a rose, but ashes that used to be his perfect flower. According to Sellers, this is a picture of a writer who has an idea and loves the idea but does not write.

Stop making endless outlines and write; give up on endless pining and write; stop wanting the book to be done and enjoy writing it instead. Just sit down and write. Write on napkins and in journals and with word processors. After you have written, don’t edit – just write some more. When the project is done, there will be time to edit. Stop saving the book for another day. Write down the bones and flesh out the meat later. You’ll never get it perfect, but you will have the opportunity to smell the fragrance of real words instead of wishing on them and creating ashes instead.

Summer Goals

At breakfast the other day, a friend of mine and I were talking about some of our goals for physical fitness. His are quite extensive and mine are … less so. I felt convicted that I should be pushing myself more. In conversation, we got around to spiritual goals we have for the summer. The conclusion we both reached is that we had really just counted on “winging it” as we have often done.

Perhaps winging it will produce for our souls what winging it produces for my body – i.e. Not much change. What spiritual goals might you be setting for this summer?