20 Signs You Have OLD Geek Cred

Because you need to know there is a world of difference between the geek cred of the baby boomers and that of today’s generations, here is a list that shows you were there before the Internet exploded.

1. You Grokked before you could flirt. In fact, you still grok and can’t flirt
2. You punched cards to compile a computer program
3. You could make pictures using just x’s and o’s on a Telex printout
4. You can identify the difference between the sound a 2400 baud and a 14400 baud modem made.
5. You still own a 2400 baud modem somewhere in a closet
6. You completed a Rubik’s Cube without taking it apart or reading a book on how to do it
7. Some of your fingerprints are missing due to excessive amounts of airplane glue on the fingers during airplane construction all-nighters.
8. You’ve read LOTR more than 10 times before anyone had seen any of the movies.
9. You were in love with one of the following sci-fi heroines: Galadriel, Mennolly, Eowyn, Kahlan Amnell or Meg Murry.

10. You have used both an abacus and a slide rule

11. You can play and win at Go, Pente, Chess, and Axis and Allies.

12. You know what a Heathkit is and have put one together and found out they were missing some of the parts. Extra bonus credit if you had the missing parts lying around from other kits. Ultimate bonus if you made the extra parts.

13. You played Pong and thought it was the beginning of the Revolution. You were right.

14. You knew Radio Shack when it was Tandy and had more leather goods than electronic. You bought both.

15. Your first computer had less than 16K of motherboard memory.

16. You know that a 1K segment of memory does not have 1,000 bytes but rather 1024. And you know why.

17. You can count in hexadecimal.

18. You wanted to be a Tarnsman and enter Gor through some secret door. Alternatively, you wanted all the girls from Gor to enter your world through some secret door. Heck, you wanted any secret door.

19. Your parents would get nervous when you entered the room with a screwdriver in your hands. Bonus points if they instantly protected the television set.

20. You can recite the mnemonic for remembering the order of colors in any resistor. (e.g Bright Boys Rave Over Young Girls But Veto Getting Wed)

Appreciating (Again) Extraverts and Introverts

This week, we are featuring the top ten most viewed blog entries on this site. This is #6 on the list with over 10,000 hits.

In the years I have spent studying personality traits and how they fit into human interaction, I am most fascinated by Introversion and Extraversion. A proper understanding of these traits is essential to appreciating those who live with us and around us…and perhaps gain a foothold on our own personality and preferences.

The two terms were coined by the Psychoanalyst Carl Jung. The words mean “To take the world outside and absorb it within ourselves”(Introvert) and “To take our inner world and extend it outside ourselves” (Extravert).  There are people who are given to searching and seeking for ‘something’ within themselves and others who seek for ‘something’ outside of themselves. I say ‘something’ because it is never clear what we are seeking or extending. In fact, what we are extending or seeking for may be different for each person. It may be satisfaction, joy, excitement, answers, questions, or energy.

There is an interesting story in the Bible which I have pondered for a long time. A woman who had been bleeding for twelve years came to a public meeting where Jesus was healing people. In Jewish law, a woman was not allowed to touch someone when she was bleeding (menstruating or otherwise). We can only assume this woman had gynocological problems that would not stop. Therefore, she could not touch or be touched by anyone during those twelve years. That is an eternity to be cut off from others, especially if you have any extraversion in you. So she comes up behind Jesus and touches the corner of his clothing. Power goes out of him and heals her. He senses that power is leaving his being and asks who touched him. She cringes at that question and tries to hide. Finally she admits it was her and he declares her healed and clean, thus paving the way for her to enter regular societal interactions again.

Her act of touching him secretly is not uncommon for introverts. They desire to attain their needs without touching other people too deeply. Touching other people requires an introvert to exert a lot of energy. We are told in the same story that Jesus knew that power had gone out of him. It is possible for people to draw things from us, especially if they are introverts. In real life, introverts are always watching out for those who would try to do this to them, and they are sometimes guilty of taking energy from others.

What is also interesting is that she immediately feared that she was in trouble when Jesus asked who had touched him. This had much to do with her years of being an outcast, but it also shows us something about introverts and their motivation levels. Hans Eysenck, one of the world’s most famous experts on Personality proposed that Introverts are more motivated by the possibility of punishment and extraverts by the possibility of rewards. The woman who touched his garment came forward because she was convinced that to do otherwise would bring a punishment.

I was speaking with a friend the other day who asked me if there is any such thing as an absolute Introvert or Extravert. That would be impossible to answer of course, because when you think you have identified the absolute standard for either, someone will always come along who is even more extreme. All of us are somewhere between the two extremes. Even though extraverts commonly recharge their emotional energy by being around people, most extraverts will also come to a point where they are “peopled” out. The emotional crash for an overstimulated Extravert can be dramatic. In the same way, introverts can come to a season in life where they are understimulated by being too isolated. They often will develop deep sense of boredom and restlessness and this can lead them into expecting too much of the few people they have allowed into their lives.

Intriguingly, of all the characteristics of personality, this dualism of extravert/introvert tends to change the most as we get older. Younger introverts will often develop a need for people as they get older. In the same way, extraverts will often find themselves developing habits of retreating from the world occasionally as their age increases. If you visit a nursing home, you will find it very difficult to identify some of the introverts and extraverts. I believe that many people over sixty are “X-types” when it comes to this measurement of personality. (Note: An “x” type is defined by Myers-Briggs proponents as a person whose personality is more toward the middle on a personality trait dualism such as Introvert/Extravert).

I remember visiting an elderly client one time who shared a room with an older gentleman. He told me his roommate conplained constantly about how much he missed his family. But once they would come for a one-hour visit, he would immediately nap afterwards and tell his roommate how tired he was. The extravert part of him wanted their company, and the introverted expression of himself was wiped out by the reality of their presence.

Aren’t people funny?

A Valentine’s Victory

Years ago, I listened to Dr. Dale Galloway tell this story at a conference on facilitating small groups. I have no idea what his point was at that time, but I fell in love with the story.

Since it is a Valentine’s tale, I decided to publish it here. A version of it can also be found in the original “Chicken Soup for the Soul”.

Little Chad was a shy, quiet young man. One day he came home and told his mother that he’d like to make a valentine for everyone in his class. Her heart sank. She thought, “I wish he wouldn’t do that!” Over the months, she had watched the children when they walked home from school. It was a sight that broke her heart.

Her Chad was always behind them. The other kids laughed, hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Chad was never included. She tried to talk him out of going through this futile effort, but he would not change his mind.

Finally, she decided she would go along with her son. So she purchased the paper and glue and crayons. For three weeks, night after night, Chad painstakingly made 35 valentines. For each of his fellow students he made a unique card, trying to figure out how to make it so they would feel personally glad to receive it. Chad’s mother had never seen him with this kind of intensity and excitement.

Valentine’s Day dawned, and Chad was dressed and ready to go a full hour before the time he had to leave. When his mother finally gave him permission to go to school, he carefully stacked all the valentines, put them in a bag, and bolted out the door.

His mother decided to bake him his favorite cookies and serve them nice and warm with a cool glass of milk when he came home from school. She just knew he would be disappointed and maybe that would ease the pain a little. It hurt her to think that he wouldn’t get many valentines – maybe none at all.

That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table. When she heard the children outside, she looked out the window. Sure enough, there they came, laughing and having the best time. The kids were showing valentines to each other, waving around like trophies. And, as always, there was Chad in the rear. He walked a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. His arms were empty, she noticed. When the door opened she choked back the tears.

“Honey, I have some cookies and milk for you,” she said. But he hardly heard her words. He just marched right on by, his face glowing, and all he could say was: “Not a one. Not a one.”

His mother’s heart sank at first, but then she noticed the huge smile on his face as he added, “I didn’t forget a one, not a single one!”

Selfish or Self-absorbed?

Many people say, “I think there is some good in all of us”.

I’m never sure what they mean by that. I think it is a wish that even though we see tragic living and unhealthy decisions, there is still a chance that even a sociopath can get it right occasionally. I would love to believe this sentiment also.

Unfortunately, history and experience tell me that many people are just plain rotten to the core. Read about Darfur, Iraq, the slaughter of Native American women and children at Grand Junction Colorado, the Rape of Nanking by the Japanese soldiers in World War 2 – or just about any evening paper – will confirm what I’m saying.

What may be more accurate is to say that all of us have some evil in us.

There are many who suggest that all our ways are perverted and even when we do something right it is for the wrong reasons. I don’t think history and experience can back that up either. I have seen inexplicable moments when truly evil people have done things that cannot be explained by selfishness or malignant motives.

Here’s what I think is going on: We all have a problem with occasionally seeing ourselves as the central focus of the universe. And from what I can tell, it will usually get expressed in our lives (in those awful moments we wouldn’t want recorded in Heaven) in one of two ways:

Selfishness, or

Self-absorption.

I define selfishness as an innate desire to achieve what you want instead of what others want.

I see self-absorption as an inability to understand what others want or what they need.

To see this more clearly, let’s draw up a chart of some of the characteristics of each:

Selfish:	Self-Absorbed
Tends to be an extravert	Tends to be an introvert
Does not want others to win	Doesn’t see that others are losing
Sees needs but doesn’t care	Cares, but doesn’t see
Not kind but usually straight-forward	Kind, but hides what they think
Listens to others to gain advantage	Does not listen
Anger problems	Depression problems
Hurts others	Is hurt by others
Dominates	Manipulates
Like people but hard to tolerate	Doesn’t like people, but easy to tolerate
Like the effects of drugs and alcohol	Hate feeling out of control
Spends freely on themselves	Wants others to spend on them
Annoyed when others want their time	Doesn’t realize others want their time
Has job that will fulfill their goals	Has job that makes them feel better
Many acquaintances and few close friends	Few acquaintances and no close friends

All of us have a default position when we give in to evil. It is usually selfishness or self-absorption. When we do not give in to evil, we are much more complex. Evil motivations make us simpler and more predictable. No one is easier to anticipate than someone who is selfish or self-absorbed.

Which one of these are you when you are living poorly? 

Ten Reasons I Love To Live in Natomas

I’m not just a homebody…I love living in the Natomas region of Sacramento. If I look back on all the places I have lived, each one had its own appeal and charm. But there are some unusual and delightful elements of my current town that I love completely. If you’re from somewhere else, why don’t you sit down and determine what there is about the place you live that appeals to you.

As my mentor in college said, “Wherever you are, be ALL there”.

Top Ten Things I love About Living in Natomas

10. Five minute drive to downtown (at least, the way I drive it is).

9. Five minute drive to the airport.

8. A school district with three schools that have shown some of the most dramatic improvements in test scores of any in the Sacramento region.

7. Cultural Diversity: Our area has the second most racially and ethnically diverse school district in the nation.

6. People here don’t feel the need to live sequestered in upper middle class enclaves,  as they drive from one suburban jungle to another. Natomas residents actually get involved in their community’s safety and look out for each other. We actually know our neighbors.

5. The pastors of Natomas gather EVERY week together, share pulpits, have stopped competing and are not interested in besting each other. We actually love each other and have been known to financially help each other in tough times.

4. No mega-churches in Natomas. Therefore, all our churches actually know our members and help each other in need instead of just putting on a big Sunday show.

3. Dropping crime rates in the violent category. Several christians have been going from neighborhood to neighborhood praying that crime would drop. It has dropped faster than all the above-mentioned suburbs. I believe that this has more to do with #4 and #5.

2. A great set of community leaders. In particular, I appreciate principal John Eick and City Council Person Angelique Ashby, who both care that God is working in our community.

1. Did I mention ethnic diversity? I love being able to visit with my neighbors on my street who are black, white, latino, Vietnamese, Colombian, Indian, Iranian, Pakistani, Chinese, Canadian, Finnish, Korean and British. That list is just the people I know on my street. I told you it was a wonderful place to live. Dig it.

Complementarianism Gone Crazy

Just to be clear. I am not a complementarian. I am an Egalitarian. The Complementarian believes that God ordained that men rule over women in the marital relationship. This position points  to Genesis 3 and the Fall of Man where God tells Eve that her desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her. An Egalitarian believes that the Death and Resurrection of Jesus changes many of the relationships broken by the Fall. And that includes the marriage relationship.

I respect the Complementarian position, but I don’t subscribe to it. I believe that God gives both men and women in a marriage the same mandate to love one another, the same command to submit to one another and the same Holy Spirit to live in harmony with each other. Equal. Together. Holy.

And even though I respect the other position, sometimes it is hard to do so. In a recent article from the Gospel Coalition (a mainstream Complementarian group), Jared Wilson talks about one area that has always been seen as equal ground by both the Complementarians and Egalitarians: Sex and Sexual Pleasure.

Here is the article, and here is a selection of what he says (it is not taken out of context):

When we quarrel with the way the world is, we find that the world has ways of getting back at us. In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage. This means that we have sought to suppress the concepts of authority and submission as they relate to the marriage bed.

This is outrageous! He is basically saying that sex is all about a man conquering and taking charge of a woman. The other side he calls “egalitarian pleasure party”. What he is saying is that the desire of a man to pleasure his wife is unbiblical.

Apparently, he is forgetting that the Apostle Paul is the one who says,

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Cor. 7:3-4).

Many of my complementarian friends will be outraged by this article and how badly he portrays their position, but I need to point out one thing. This is where all of the Complementarian philosophy logically  ends: Men are in charge and women have to submit. That adheres completely to Genesis 3 and does not recognize the power of the Cross to change human relationships broken by the selfishness of Humankind.

I am not presenting this man’s teaching as a Straw Man argument on why Complementarianism is wrong. I am presenting it as a caution to where this teaching is often applied. And as a counselor, I do mean “often”.

This idiotic article may help some of you to rethink your position. I hope it does.

UPDATE: Jared has published an apology. Read it here. His original link no longer works…he has taken down the article. What is interesting is that the person he was quoting in his egregious statements about sex is now angry at him for taking down the quote.

The Cry of our Hearts

The reaction to a crying baby changes by location. It’s true if you reflect on it.

When you lift a newborn in your arms for the first time, and it begins to cry, you may cry along with it. It’s like a shared Weltgeist that all mankind can enter; the experience of bursting into the world outside the womb, where all is unknown to you and you are helpless. Any of us can enter that; and so we share the emotion with the child.

A fevered baby evokes concern. As their cry vacillates between pain, fear and annoyance, we have indulgence, patience and empathy. Those of us who have gutted out our own illness and fever (which is all of us, except the Superimmune) can identify and relate. There is no problem at all with listening to that cry. As a parent whose children spiked temps of at least 104, I can tell you that cry is a welcome relief at 2 a.m. It means they are still alive and perhaps have the energy to fight the virus off.

Counterpoint. A baby’s cry in the airport, behind you in church, travelling via stroller in the supermarket – just about anywhere that your brain minds being assaulted by noise – garners very little sympathy. We understand that this kind of crying happens. We just feel annoyed it is happening around us. Usually, babies cry in public because they are angry, bored, competing, hungry, tired or innately selfish. Though we all have those emotions, we are not proud of them, and we tend to cover over our own failings by resenting that crying baby.

A baby wailing in a movie theater almost demands violent reactions. Everyone is thinking “What idiot brings their child to a showing of The Avengers?” Instinctively, parents seem to  know they are the focal point of vengeance in the theater and they usually clear out as the sniffles turn to shouts. None too soon, as the mob is looking ugly.

When I was six, my brother got lost at an amusement park. He was four. When we later found him, the park attendant hovering over him told us he was brought in by four adults, all of whom were distressed that he couldn’t find his parents. They were moved with compassion at the utter helplessness of a child’s sobs.

I say all of that to make this point: No matter what causes our tears as God’s children, He cares. He may not care the same way with every cry of our heart, but the intensity of his caring never flags.

That comforts and challenges my soul. When others waffle in how they feel about me and my personal struggles, there is One who never changes.

The Hardest Prophecy ever Given by God

When we think of the Love of God, it is very possible to slip into a motif of sentimentalism. Be assured of this: God is not sentimental. His love does not drip of syrupy platitudes and pictures of little puppies. He loves the old gnarly dogs just as much as the cute youngsters.

But most people don’t define love the way God does. That makes it more difficult to understand some of the things God does and says. There may not be anything more difficult than Ezekiel 24:15-18. Here’s what it says:

¹⁵ The word of the Lord came to me: ¹⁶ “Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. ¹⁷ Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover your mustache and beard or eat the customary food of mourners. ”

¹⁸ So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded.

God tells the Prophet Ezekiel that his wife is going to die that evening and he is not allowed to outwardly mourn her in any way. This may be one of the most incomprehensible things God has ever asked anyone to do. Leaving aside for a moment that God is telling someone their loved one is about to die. Leaving aside for a moment that, from the way it is worded, it appears that Ezekiel and his wife were very close and loving.

Actually, we can’t leave those things aside. He is not asking this of a divorced prophet or of a man whose wife was a shrew. This is the love of his life. Not only is she about to die, but he is not allowed to grieve and he has to talk to people about why he is not speaking.

Why would a loving God do this to one of his best people? The love of God compels God to do the best thing for the most amount of people while keeping two truths in mind:

1. That people have freedom of choice over their own lives.

2. That sin is powerful and if allowed to go unchecked will destroy every person on this planet. God’s purpose is to deal with this second truth without completely violating the first truth.

The entire nation of Israel has wandered away from God and is practicing witchcraft, rampant immorality, idol worship, child sacrifice and war cult activity. God has given Ezekiel and a handful of other prophets messages to pass on in warning about where these actions are leading. No one is paying any attention to them. But as the days before consequences for their actions get closer, the messages of God become sharper. Finally, God uses a metaphor that will drive home the point. But it requires a picture that will not easily leave people’s minds.

Several things to remember. First, we all die. And death is in itself not a curse. The cross of Christ has removed sin from death and therefore taken away its sting. Second, we will all die when it is our appointed time to die. Nothing anyone else does or says can change that. Third, those of us who believe in God do not see death as a final moment. Fourth, sometimes for many of us, grieving has to be postponed due to other critical issues.

The nation of Israel are about to be attacked and attacked and attacked by their enemies. This time, God is not going to stop the attacks. People will die by the thousands, not because God is unloving, but because the nation didn’t want to acknowledge God any longer. This prophetic action God is calling Ezekiel to (i.e. not mourning his wife’s death) will mirror the coming days when the chaos and confusion of being attacked will leave people no time to grieve as they run for their own lives.

God gave them this picture to warn them and perhaps shock them into seeing what their actions would cause. They could have changed their minds and their ways and turned back to God. It may not have prevented everything from happening, but God is a forgiving God and will help us when we turn to Him.

We ought to remember the words of C. S. Lewis in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” when describing Aslan, a figure of God Himself: “He is good, but He’s not safe”.

Not safe indeed. But He is loving, good and forgiving. And just so you know, God did comfort the prophet after he gave this word. At the end of that chapter he does tell him there will be a time he can openly grieve and God will help him.

What we all need to know is that when we think God does not care about the smallest things in our lives, we can be assured He does. But there are moments when God’s actions tell us He has bigger fish to fry. If we know he loves us fiercely, that can help us get through the tough times.

I am Joseph Kony

At a banquet given by the Governor of Hong Kong, Chuck Colson was seated beside a woman of prestige. Wanting to impress Colson (who was the guest speaker) she went on and on praising him for all the good works he was doing in prisons. She went so far as to greatly exaggerate things he had done, which made him more than a little embarrassed. Partly to correct her over-indulgence he told her: “Madam: If truth were told, I have more in common with Adolph Hitler than with Jesus Christ”. In his account of the story, he was immediately shocked that this thought had come out of his mouth and, at the same time, delighted that it accomplished the goal of bringing peace and quiet to their end of the table. But after that evening, he did some more thinking about the matter.

He concluded that he could, unfortunately, stand by his statement as accurate. Though Colson (and most of us) could readily conclude he had  more moral fiber and sense than Hitler, the difference between himself and Hitler was not as great as the moral distance between himself and the Savior. Though this is true of almost everyone, perhaps we don’t see the true implications of this.

Last week, when the Kony2012 video went viral, the name “Joseph Kony” came back into my life. Let me explain. Every January I ask God to give me the name of a country to pray for during the 12 months ahead. Back in 2004, God gave me the countries of Uganda and Burundi to pray for. As I did my research in the book “Operation World” they referenced the deplorable behavior of Josephy Kony and his band of mercenaries. I spent several hours one day researching the actions of this horrible man. To sum up: Kony is one of the worst perpetrators of the practice of kidnapping young children and then forcing them to kill their family members. In this way, these kidnapped children have no family (except his army) and they are too ashamed to ever return home again. He is certainly not the only one to use this practice (The website “Children of Conflict” says there are currently armies in Sierra Leone, Liberia, Congo, Sudan, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan and Burma also operating this way). However, Kony is perhaps the most violent and egregious in his disregard for the dignity and freedom of children.

Yet I still have to conclude that I have more in common with this man than I do with Jesus Christ.

Joseph Kony grew up in a religion that was a strange mixture of Christianity and paganism. His aunt, Alice Lakwena, was a priestess of this tribal group whose practices included contact with dead people, seances and prophetic dreams using hallucinogenic drugs. His parents left him in the care and control of his aunt and her ways. Joseph himself was brought up by her to believe he was a prophet because of the vivid dreams he had. In the late 90s, Kony had a dream where he believed the Lord ordered him to put together an army that would rape, murder, pillage and terrorize parts of Uganda. From that day until this, he has never stopped.

Dallas Willard in his excellent book “The Renovation of the Heart” in his chapter called “Radical Evil in the Ruined Soul says:

“Now, when the light of the fundamental truth and reality, God, is put out in the heart and the soul, the intellect becomes dysfunctional, trying to devise a “truth” that will be compatible with the basic falsehood that man is god.”

What Willard is showing us is the true nature of the human heart: When we don’t know God in Truth, we will grasp at anything that makes us and those like us the center of power, glory and worship. Joseph Kony did not start out with a good understanding of who created the Universe, who sustains it and to whom all glory should be given. I have to ask if I would have acted much differently had I been born into his family, with his aunt, fighting off the same demons that manifested at the same rituals. I was born in a different place with different people and different beliefs. Though I know I probably would not have taken error that far, I am not as far removed from his heart as I want to believe. I still have major times of narcissism and self-aggrandizement that shock even me.

In the past ten years, there have been people I wished were dead, even though I don’t think I would kill them if I had the chance. I have lied at times, withheld important information that would have helped others, harbored bitterness, hatred, revenge and jealousy in my heart. All of these things also stoke the fires of mercenaries and dictators the world over. I am just lazier than most of them and couldn’t be bothered to raise up an army or even a good-sized posse.

But Jesus is changing my inside. Those jealousies, bitternesses, hatreds, narcissistic attitudes have all come under daily scrutiny with the Holy Spirit. Because of His presence in my heart and mind, I can’t just follow the old paths of self-destruction without a voice behind me encouraging me to turn to the right or the left. With the thousands of life-turns God has helped me to navigate, I have to wonder where I would have been if not for all of that aid. Perhaps I wouldn’t have lived where Joseph Kony lives, but I might be in the same neighborhood. 

A Tribute to Valentine’s Day – Late As Usual

Here is a video that you won’t want to miss, especially if (like me) you really want to capture the “reason for the Valentine’s Season…well, maybe for next year?