Does God Pull Away or Do We?

I have heard it said many times that God hates sin so much that he cannot have anything to do with people who have sin. God is often pictured as distancing Himself from sinners, retreating to a holy conclave where He is not affected by our sin. Jesus’ death on the cross, which legally pays for sin, allows God to have fellowship and friendship with the believer.

Or so we’ve been told. There are certainly verses throughout the Bible that suggest this and even state openly that because we are all sinners we fall short of the grace of God (Romans 3:23). The Bible says that when we sin we negate the effectiveness of our prayers (Micah 3:4), we bring spiritual death upon ourselves (Ezekiel 18:20, Romans 6:23), and we lose a place in the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

But nowhere does it say that God cannot stand to be around us when we sin. Nowhere.

Here is what it does say: Isaiah 59:1-2:

Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
² But your iniquities have separated
    you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.

Look clearly at v. 2. It is not that God pulls away from us; we pull away from God. Sin, by definition is selfish living, living without regard for Creator, other people and consequences. When we live in such a self-absorbed condition, it is hard to be close to anyone, let alone God. The more we sin, the less we are like God and the less we share values in common with God. When you do not share the values of another person, it is so hard to get close to them. In counseling over the years, I have seen many married couples grow apart because they do not share a common set of values.

In the Garden of Eden, after Adam and Eve disobeyed God, we read that God went looking for them. THEY HID FROM GOD, not the other way around. God is not afraid of sin and neither does God reject the sinner. Jesus is God and he liked to hang with sinners. Holy Spirit is God and he speaks to sinners about sin, righteousness and the afterlife. You don’t speak to people you abhor.

There is not a person in this world that God willingly pulls away from. But He will allow us to pull away from Him. Keep that in mind next time God feels far away. God didn’t move away. God didn’t change position at all.

The Cry of our Hearts

The reaction to a crying baby changes by location. It’s true if you reflect on it.

When you lift a newborn in your arms for the first time, and it begins to cry, you may cry along with it. It’s like a shared Weltgeist that all mankind can enter; the experience of bursting into the world outside the womb, where all is unknown to you and you are helpless. Any of us can enter that; and so we share the emotion with the child.

A fevered baby evokes concern. As their cry vacillates between pain, fear and annoyance, we have indulgence, patience and empathy. Those of us who have gutted out our own illness and fever (which is all of us, except the Superimmune) can identify and relate. There is no problem at all with listening to that cry. As a parent whose children spiked temps of at least 104, I can tell you that cry is a welcome relief at 2 a.m. It means they are still alive and perhaps have the energy to fight the virus off.

Counterpoint. A baby’s cry in the airport, behind you in church, travelling via stroller in the supermarket – just about anywhere that your brain minds being assaulted by noise – garners very little sympathy. We understand that this kind of crying happens. We just feel annoyed it is happening around us. Usually, babies cry in public because they are angry, bored, competing, hungry, tired or innately selfish. Though we all have those emotions, we are not proud of them, and we tend to cover over our own failings by resenting that crying baby.

A baby wailing in a movie theater almost demands violent reactions. Everyone is thinking “What idiot brings their child to a showing of The Avengers?” Instinctively, parents seem to  know they are the focal point of vengeance in the theater and they usually clear out as the sniffles turn to shouts. None too soon, as the mob is looking ugly.

When I was six, my brother got lost at an amusement park. He was four. When we later found him, the park attendant hovering over him told us he was brought in by four adults, all of whom were distressed that he couldn’t find his parents. They were moved with compassion at the utter helplessness of a child’s sobs.

I say all of that to make this point: No matter what causes our tears as God’s children, He cares. He may not care the same way with every cry of our heart, but the intensity of his caring never flags.

That comforts and challenges my soul. When others waffle in how they feel about me and my personal struggles, there is One who never changes.

The Hardest Prophecy ever Given by God

When we think of the Love of God, it is very possible to slip into a motif of sentimentalism. Be assured of this: God is not sentimental. His love does not drip of syrupy platitudes and pictures of little puppies. He loves the old gnarly dogs just as much as the cute youngsters.

But most people don’t define love the way God does. That makes it more difficult to understand some of the things God does and says. There may not be anything more difficult than Ezekiel 24:15-18. Here’s what it says:

¹⁵ The word of the Lord came to me: ¹⁶ “Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. ¹⁷ Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover your mustache and beard or eat the customary food of mourners. ”

¹⁸ So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded.

God tells the Prophet Ezekiel that his wife is going to die that evening and he is not allowed to outwardly mourn her in any way. This may be one of the most incomprehensible things God has ever asked anyone to do. Leaving aside for a moment that God is telling someone their loved one is about to die. Leaving aside for a moment that, from the way it is worded, it appears that Ezekiel and his wife were very close and loving.

Actually, we can’t leave those things aside. He is not asking this of a divorced prophet or of a man whose wife was a shrew. This is the love of his life. Not only is she about to die, but he is not allowed to grieve and he has to talk to people about why he is not speaking.

Why would a loving God do this to one of his best people? The love of God compels God to do the best thing for the most amount of people while keeping two truths in mind:

1. That people have freedom of choice over their own lives.

2. That sin is powerful and if allowed to go unchecked will destroy every person on this planet. God’s purpose is to deal with this second truth without completely violating the first truth.

The entire nation of Israel has wandered away from God and is practicing witchcraft, rampant immorality, idol worship, child sacrifice and war cult activity. God has given Ezekiel and a handful of other prophets messages to pass on in warning about where these actions are leading. No one is paying any attention to them. But as the days before consequences for their actions get closer, the messages of God become sharper. Finally, God uses a metaphor that will drive home the point. But it requires a picture that will not easily leave people’s minds.

Several things to remember. First, we all die. And death is in itself not a curse. The cross of Christ has removed sin from death and therefore taken away its sting. Second, we will all die when it is our appointed time to die. Nothing anyone else does or says can change that. Third, those of us who believe in God do not see death as a final moment. Fourth, sometimes for many of us, grieving has to be postponed due to other critical issues.

The nation of Israel are about to be attacked and attacked and attacked by their enemies. This time, God is not going to stop the attacks. People will die by the thousands, not because God is unloving, but because the nation didn’t want to acknowledge God any longer. This prophetic action God is calling Ezekiel to (i.e. not mourning his wife’s death) will mirror the coming days when the chaos and confusion of being attacked will leave people no time to grieve as they run for their own lives.

God gave them this picture to warn them and perhaps shock them into seeing what their actions would cause. They could have changed their minds and their ways and turned back to God. It may not have prevented everything from happening, but God is a forgiving God and will help us when we turn to Him.

We ought to remember the words of C. S. Lewis in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” when describing Aslan, a figure of God Himself: “He is good, but He’s not safe”.

Not safe indeed. But He is loving, good and forgiving. And just so you know, God did comfort the prophet after he gave this word. At the end of that chapter he does tell him there will be a time he can openly grieve and God will help him.

What we all need to know is that when we think God does not care about the smallest things in our lives, we can be assured He does. But there are moments when God’s actions tell us He has bigger fish to fry. If we know he loves us fiercely, that can help us get through the tough times.

How to be a Bad Parent – in One Easy Lesson

I almost never do this, but I am going to react to a video posted online. I am doing this because over a dozen of my friends posted this on Facebook and most of them (excluding my good friend Ken and one other person) paraded this around as an example of great parenting. It is not.

This is the opposite of great parenting. 

Here is the video. Watch it and come back for my “expert” analysis.

There are at least six things wrong with what he does here…and what is behind what he does.

1. He is Escalating the Confrontation. In family therapy terms, he is “stair-stepping” emotionally. This means he is reacting to her emotional fit on Facebook with a video that shows an even more dramatic display. Believe me, a handgun trumps an opinion expressed to friends every time. If you want to show a teen they are being disrespectful, you come down a notch emotionally and refuse to enter into their histrionics. Police officers will tell you that domestic disputes get out of hand when one person feels they have to “top” the emotions of the other person. What does the daughter do now in this family? Either she will do something even more dramatic than the dad, or she will feel cowed by his antics and shut down completely. My guess is that he has not earned her respect but her loathing.

2. He teaches “do as I command, not as I model”. He tells her to refrain from profanity and his speech is laced with profanity. This is like the parent who keeps preaching respect while showing no respect. I understand that parents aren’t perfect either. But this dad just wants to be the “boss” so much that he thinks his profanity is justified because “she started it“. My guess is she is simply mirroring what Cowboy Dad does every day; and he doesn’t like having a mirror held up to his soul.

3. His Anger is Not Focused: Generally in working with anyone, you must stick to one (or at the most, two) things that anger you. If he had just stuck with the “why did you have to shame us publicly” message, that would have more powerful. But he brings in the cost of the software, the language used, the disrespect for Linda, the “cleaning lady”. (It appears Linda is one of his clients who is paying for his services by cleaning their house. Why on earth does he allow Linda to clean this girl’s room in the first place?) He is one of those parents who stores up the grievances and then lets them all out at once.

4. A Handgun? Seriously? Telling the world that mom wants him to take a shot for her? This is what we tell our friends we wanted to do to the laptop. Adults don’t do this. Felons do this. No wonder this is such a wonderfully respectful family. This says to the kids “when you reach your boiling point, shoot something.”

5. If you strip out the profanity, his daughter actually does have some valid points. At least, she has every right to express her anger. What she does wrong is tell the world on Facebook and lace it with angry invective. If this is dad’s approach to dealing with his children, I can see why she feels she needs to take this to the masses. She isn’t right by any stretch of the imagination, but I can understand her. A good parent needs to keep the conversation going and enact consequences when kids won’t listen. Take away the laptop. Ground her until she moves out. But keep talking. The old adage “keep talking, I’m reloading” makes for a funny bumper-sticker. It is not good parenting.

6. In all Mr. Gun-toting Cowboy’s stream of anger, what he really is telling her is “don’t disrespect me”. I have a gun, I am in charge and you will tow the line. I have seen parents take this approach a lot and I can guarantee you it only alienates children. A good parent models respect by showing it, not by demanding it.  As an example, look at the book “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Can you imagine Atticus Finch demanding his children respect him? When Jem and Scout sneak out to watch him on the steps of the jail (without permission), he seeks to understand, not to alienate them. The whole town respects Atticus because he has shown them respect. It is the father of the supposed rape victim that demands respect. And he never gets it. I wonder why?

One Unintended Result of Wikileaks

I don’t want to add anything to the debate over Wikileaks – as in, “is this going to threaten the lives of our troops” or “how accurate can all of this really be”. I can’t get into those debates because I don’t care to read all the gobbledygook in the leaks themselves.

I am more interested in society’s reactions to the leaked material. I note with interest Theodore Dalrymple’s assessment of the real danger in this article: What’s Really Wrong with WikiLeaks by Theodore Dalrymple, City Journal 2 December 2010. One quote will suffice:

A reign of assumed virtue would be imposed, in which people would say only what they do not think and think only what they do not say.

He speculates we will monitor what we say more carefully with the fear our private thoughts will become public knowledge. But is that as bad as he suggests? Doesn’t the Bible tell us to put a rein on our tongues, even in private conversation? I can’t see anything wrong with personally editing everything we say, even in seemingly private conversations. Gossip, jealousy, boasting, bitterness, no matter how small the forum into which we speak them, are all damaging.

The tongue is a small member, but it can set an entire forest on fire.

Can the Majority Take Away the Rights of the Minority

This is from my Facebook posting this morning.

In the Supreme Court of California today, they continue the debate on Proposition 8. The question posed by opponents is this: Should the Majority be allowed to take away rights of the Minority? As Ken Starr pointed out yesterday, the question is not “Can they?” for that is well established in the rule of Law in America. The question is properly “should they?”.

When you ask a “should” question, it is an inquiry into morals and ethics. In order to decide the answer, you must know the basis of a country’s ethical decisions. John Locke, the English politician and scientist, proposed that no rule of law (except one) can exist without a moral consensus. A moral consensus is an agreed upon higher law that all human laws are based. That may be a religious book, a belief in God or in a higher code of law. If you do not have a moral consensus, there is no basis upon which to answer any question of what “should” happen.

After all, who is to say what constitutes a “right”? If it doesn’t come from an agreed upon higher law, then how can anyone say there is an absolute right or wrong?

Locke did recognize that there is an alternative to Moral Consensus: the opinion of the Majority. If you cannot agree as a nation on a higher rule of law, then you must define law by the mood of the public.

In California, that means the majority can decide to limit any rights they choose – especially when those rights are not defined or spelled out.

Therefore, the homosexual marriage lobby is stuck between a rock and a hard place. They cannot appeal to any Moral Consensus for their “should” – no religion or rule of Natural Law accepts homosexual behavior – so they must court public opinion. And at the moment, it is not in their favor.

Or am I missing something?

Discovering the Afterlife – Part 1

A close friend recently asked me if I thought we would be married to our spouses in heaven. We launched into an entertaining and speculative discussion on the afterlife. This followed on an incident two days earlier where an acquaintance asked me if there would be animals in heaven. I liberally shared my very brief opinion on the subject and once again it was entertaining though hardly definitive.

I admit I can’t really get a full grasp on what the afterlife is going to be like. But I am convinced of this: It will be very different from what a lot of people think. I could write reams of articles on what I think will take place after we die, but my opinions, and three bucks, will get you a cup of Starbucks premium coffee. But I do know someone who can tell us the answers.

Standing Up to the “Experts”

Here is reason number 72 why I love my wife. She was forced to take another Math course on the journey to securing her advanced nursing degree. She likes math courses about as much as being licked on the mouth by a dog, so she had a certain amount of momentary depression. But as she usually does, she sucked it up and bit into the curriculum with gusto.

On one exam (taken online), she noticed that two of the questions had at least two possible answers, depending on how you interpreted the question. In both cases, she interpreted the question differently than the examiner anticipated, which means she got the “wrong” answers. Even with that, she got a high grade on the test (no big surprise if you know her), but she couldn’t leave it alone. For over a week, she went back and forth challenging the Professor to look at the test from her point of view. I knew it was a hopeless cause. Even if she was right, he was never going to admit it.

A Theology of Disaster

In this season of wildfire-based disasters, it would be good to visit the biblical understanding of what place God takes during disaster and how we can survive shattering events. In order to do that, I want to remind us of one disaster that opens itself up easily as a classroom.

In 1988, the Northwest corner of the United States and the Southwest corner of Canada experienced the worst drought since the mid-1800s. By the time we came to the summer fire season, all hell broke loose in the forests of British Columbia, Montana and Wyoming. I was living in B.C. at the time and I remember distinctly four separate fires joining together to form a so-called “supercell” fire, similar in devastation to low pressure cells joining to form tornadoes. But what I was observing was pittance compared to what was going on in Yellowstone.