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Psalm 139 Rewritten

May 1, 2007

Here is a rewriting of Psalm 139 by a friend of mine, Christine: (thanks for a beautiful rendition of this psalm):

Even more than I look at me, You look at me. You cup me in both Hands and bring me up to your face to look. No shadow keeps me hidden from You. Your light shines in every part of my being.
You see and understand whatever is a part of me. Before the thoughts speeding at me become even a speck in the distance of my mind, You know where they come from and what effect they will have.
In all my journeying back and forth during the day, and when I finally curl up on my bed at night with a heartfelt sigh, You walked next to me, watching every moment pass. You watched my preparations for the day; You watched me eat my hurried meals. You watched me smile and laugh with other people; You watched my head fall into my hands in the small moments of solitude I could catch during the day. As a loving Father knows every mood of His child, You know my hearts cries when they are inaudible. Not a word in my mouth is a stranger to You. You know why they are there and the wellspring from which they come. Nothing coming at me, nothing inside me, nothing falling away behind me, not one thing is veiled to You. But You don’t stop there, You place Your hand upon me. The weight is too much – I have to bow. The burning is too much – I have to acknowledge You. I cannot understand You; You are an ocean in which I will drown.
When I run from You, I can always hear Your footsteps right behind me. No matter how hard I push and how much I exhaust myself in running away, You relentlessly keep pace. There is nowhere I can go where You are not. If I decide that its best for me to be alone, You do not leave me alone. When I try to tear myself loose from Your hand, Your other hand is waiting right below, ready to catch me. You will not let me go. I huddle, curled in the smallest ball I can make, waiting for horrors to overtake me and overwhelm me. As the edge of this blanket of darkness falls over me, I wait for the light around me to become night. But the hope that is Your presence inside me makes darkness impossible… night cannot happen. There is no absence of You, there is no lack of light, I am never abandoned by the Son. In the life that I have, there is no night. There is only the eternal dwelling place beyond the sunrise.
Who made me? What part of me was not touched by You, Oh Lord? You put a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and made it into a person. I was not put together in a haphazard lump of leftovers. I was thoughtfully planned out, painstakingly connected, and You delighted in every step of the process. Nothing escaped your notice, every atom inside of me was created by You. There is nothing inside me that You did not touch when You put me together, and every little piece was created just for me, by You. The recipe that makes up me is filed away in Your imagination, and there is not one other just like it. You knew what my life would be like, and what I would do with it, and yet you made me anyway. You set my feet on the path and whisper gently in my ear, knowing already which way I will choose to step. Oh Father, I will walk the path You choose for me. I will cling to You as I am alone. Holding Your thoughts as precious gems, I gaze at one and stagger in its brilliance, not realizing the thousands upon millions that are glimmering behind it.
You hold me in your hands, and bring me up close to Your face. As You look at every part of me, I can choose to open up to the light or close myself up and hide. Which will I do tonight? I know the morning will find me still cradled in Your hands. Is it safe? I dont know. But I know it is beautiful.
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6 comments

  1. How can I know all that and still feel so desperately alone, so anxious, so fearful. I am in a black, black place, and there is no outlet. A counselor I know called it “the dark night of the soul.” I know God is there, I know I am not alone, but there is no joy in me, no light. There is only lonliness, only sadness. My hands shake, my heart cries, and I am forsaken by family and friends.

    Someday, this will end. But for now, no one even reaches out to me.


  2. My prayer for Anonymous right now: God, will you take this precious one by your hand and pour out your presence. Will you then break through the lie that says you are not there with the knowledge that you are. Will you break through the lie that says they will not be loved with a message that tells the truth. Will you surround this one, not just with people, but with You.


  3. I feel like I am in the throne room of Father God and hearing the deepest cry of one honest human soul and the gentle love of another praying over them to receive all that Abba Father has to tell them. Thank you to both for sharing your hearts. I too, have experienced a long period of painful loneliness and then the healing power and truth that only Father God can give. It all started with my willingness to be honest before Him and a very tiny mustard seed of faith to trust Him to set me free with His Truth.


  4. You are not alone anonymous, there are legions of us in the same place. Don’t turn back, keep groping in the darkness. You will eventually find His nail-pierced hand.


  5. anonymous. You are not forsaken by God. He has placed someone for you to reach out to. Look around and in that darkness, you will know in your knower that person to approach. My faith in God is that right now God has placed you on that person’s heart and they are praying for you right now and will be reaching right back to you.


  6. thank you for your prayers.



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