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I Stand Corrected

August 17, 2007

For years I have taught at Pornography seminars that porn is not really a problem for most women. I also intimate that women’s pornography is in the realm of vicarious relationships: i.e. Soap Operas, Romance novels, Bodice Ripping stories etc. I still believe more women struggle with vicarious relationship problems than with visual porn, but I have to change my stance now.

Several recent studies have concluded that women are catching up with their porn watching. 40% of women are now viewing porn at least monthly. 17% of women have some kind of pornography addiction, according to the Cornell Daily News (which they gleaned from the 2006 National Report on Pornography in America). The two fastest growing groups of women struggling with porn are over 60 and under 15.

A friend of mine, Bryan Johnston has an excellent message which mentions some more of women’s problems with porn. You can download that message from The Stirring (Redding, CA) website or from Itunes…it is called “The Dirty Little Secret”. Bryan is one of the founders of XXXchurch.com which is a ministry to rescue people from porn, including those in the porn industry. Their website has an interesting debate with Ron Jeremy, the so-called “King” of the porn stars. In Bryan’s message, he has some interesting things to say about their contact with Jeremy over the years. I advise you to listen to it.

I have also done a seminar recently on porn, and it can be downloaded here.

So why are women getting into porn more and more? Well, I don’t really have a definitive answer, but I have a couple of theories.

1. Women have always been curious about the appeal that porn has for men. That curiosity seems to suggest to them that there is something they need to learn or know. Once again, the draw of this appeal is similar to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If you don’t eat from porn’s tree you might not know what is going on. This leads young women especially into a lie that says they must enter into porn’s view of sex to be accepted and acceptable sexually.

2. Western women are becoming more visual in all aspects of life. The visual senses have never been more acute than they are today. Television and the preponderence of reading in school has lead us all down that road. This helps women to see sexuality as something visual as opposed to something relational. God help us (and I mean that) if women start to view sex as men do.

3. It has always been assumed that apart from Anais Nin and Virginia Wolff women do not constantly crave sexuality and the release of masturbation. Even women believed that for many years. At the same time women also are being told that sexual feelings toward other women are not wrong and that men actually get turned on by women who are attracted to other women (see Seinfeld, Friends and Scrubs as examples of shows that perpetuate this). Since much porn involves female homosexual encounters, porn gives women a way to enter into seemingly forbidden territory without the stigmas of having to “practice” in real life. The Internet has now divorced sexuality from the seediest parts of town.

4. Many women in video porn now are not as perfect looking as they were in the past, (read: skinny and perky) and this somehow empowers less-than-perfect women to believe that they don’t have to look perfect to be sexual (that is true, btw…but getting this message from porn leads women into the dark caverns of porn’s addictive nature).

Because women are now becoming more and more interested in porn, I will review in the next posting, six of the lies that porn plays upon and triggers.

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5 comments

  1. I think this blogger proves that some of your points are relevant:

    http://yuki-onna.livejournal.com/330843.html

    Caution: There is some strong language in this blog and maybe some people would find it a little pornographic themselves. But it does point out one woman’s changing viewpoint on Porn.


  2. I will allow this link, even though it is a little bit “stronger” than I prefer. But it does get the point across. Let the reader be cautious of going to Anonymous’ site mentioned above.


  3. Not long ago I noticed an article posted on msn.com quoting one of those nitwits from the Hilton or Richie ilk demanding porn for women. I did’nt read the article but I think the gist of the teaser was that younger women should start demanding that the porn industry cater to them as well as men. Ha! No doubt the porn industry already has plans to be accommodating to women.

    But that aside, I find it odd that many women will watch a movie about a relationship unfolding between a man and a woman wherein there will be steamy (and fairly explicit) sex…and that’s okay with the women who are viewing the movie. If on the other hand, there was no development of the relationship, just steamy sex, those same women would be offended…or at least uncomfortable.

    My point is this: many women are already viewing porn, they’ve just been deceived by the inclusion of the relationship and a story.
    Therefore, the jump to explicit porn for women is not that great a leap.

    It looks like Christian women could be on their way to accountability just like us guys, I’m sorry to say.


  4. Anonymous: Christian women are already moving into accountability. One of the most popular websites in the country is this one:

    http://www.purelifeministries.org/kathy-blog

    which is all about helping women with porn problems.


  5. Wow this church/team is great. Here’s something that’s helped me and other addicts I know.

    http://www.icantstop.org/looking-at-porn.php



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