The Epitome of Hyperbole

March 23, 2009

Hyperbole is a fancy term which means “to deliberately exaggerate to make a point”. Think Charles Barkley in basketball or Bill Cosby in comedy or the judges for American Idol … no, wait, their exaggerations don’t have a point.

Anyway, I love hyperbole. It helps us grasp things that are absurd or out of proportion.

But when someone exaggerates with the intent to manipulate, that is almost criminal. The other day, I heard someone claim that their product could cleanse the colon of material which hides for years. To begin with, this cannot even be possible, given the amount of enzymes eating away at the contents of the digestive tract. But then they went further. They claimed that a regimen of cleansing the colon could remove up to 25 pounds of unwanted material! Actually, all the material in my colon is unwanted, but that’s another matter.

Let’s do the math on this. Your colon weighs less than one pound. Fully weighted down with digested food, it weighs less than 10 pounds. So where is this extra fifteen pounds coming from? Unless you’re swallowing really heavy doses of vitamins, you don’t eat anything that could weigh that much. But here is the kicker: Your colon does not store anything! In fact, if you do start forming little pockets in your colon and storing some of the waste material, you will die. That is called diverticulitis.

My point is that many people will hear these deliberately exaggerated claims and go out and buy this weight loss “miracle”. People who make these claims should be fined severely.

So let’s go back to listening to Charles Barkley…at least we know not to take much of what he says seriously.



  1. Sad to say that most Americans want that quick fix to lose weight. It’s not only this product but also Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, etc, etc, etc.
    I was reading in IZ book and his weight issues started when fast food was introduced to the islands in the 60’s. He died weighing almost 700lbs.

    Maybe the point here is not only those that make these claims should be fined, but those that act on them should be fined also. Where does accountability weigh in (no pun intended)

  2. I’ve always said, the number one way to get rich is to write a book or sell a product to someone telling them they will either lose weight or get rich… Ever wonder why motivational speakers spend more time speaking then working thier day jobs?

    So since I’m so nice and not filled with greed, let me save you from all the reading and infomercial watching.

    Surround yourself with people that you want to be like… Skinny and Rich if thats the case. Monkey see monkey do!

  3. PS… I may be wrong… But I doubt it :o)

  4. Tyler, the way to get richer is to actually get rich or lose weight and have the world pay for you to tell them what you did. Looking at today’s docket at Arco Arena, the rich are getting richer.

    Do you ever doubt you’re wrong?

  5. Anonymous, Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers actually do help people lose weight, but not because of the food. It is the accountability of those programs. It has been proven that once a person stops going to the program, they gain the weight back. But at least for the period they are in the program, they lose it. That is far superior to this hokey manipulative approach to losing weight.

  6. Mike of all people I figured you’d have caught that comment and knew the signifigance of it….

    “I may be wrong but I doubt it”

    is the title of Charles Barkleys book… I know I’m so sneaky like that.

    Yes I have it… My mom bought it for me years back… I can’t imagine why…

    Typically I put a lot of research into what I say before I say it… That way even though it might seem a bit out there and hard for people to grasp now, I’m usually temporaily wrong eventually I’m more often than not proven right… People hate me for it and I stopped for awhile but I figure who cares if people hate me sometimes reality hurts. I’ve been told plenty of times how wrong and messed up I am, thankfully I always have a couple of people in my back pocket to set me straight and my ego isn’t big enough to not make good use of them. Praise Jesus I think if all the hot air in my head leaked I’d actually be the first human accountable for global warming…

  7. Tyler, that’s great. I now must borrow the book from you. On bended knee I beg you.

  8. I guess a good correlation to this is the Bible only works while you are reading it. If you don’t live the life style it teaches you after you are done reading it, you get “worldly” again.

    People aren’t looking for a permanent solution, they want the quick fix. You to can have this for just the low cost of 9.95…….

  9. Anonymous, great analogy.

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