Posts Tagged ‘pain’


Dealing with Grief When You Still Have to Work

February 27, 2014

griefI highly recommend this excellent article by Paolina Milana. Very few people can get enough time off from work when they’re dealing with the pain of losing a loved one. This article has some practical and accurate advice. But one thing she says is something I see often when counseling people with recent grief.

Milana remarks,

“The urge to change may hit hard. You always wanted to study gorillas in Rwanda—should you quit your job and go? You never imagined you’d be working 24/7 as cook, maid, babysitter, home improvement maven, and financial manager, without even a dime to show for it—should you divorce your spouse and abandon your kids? Is it too late to run away and join the circus? Know that all of these thoughts are normal. Know, too, that experts strongly suggest not making any major life changes during periods of grief.”

My experience is that during seasons of grief we believe it is time to change everything. This helps to acknowledge that nothing will ever be the same now that this person is gone; but it causes way more problems in the long run. The best idea is to change some minor things and leave one year before any major life changes. Read the entire article for some other great advice.


Fantastible Reasons to Be in Christian Community- Part 1

February 22, 2010

I love inventing words, and this one says it all: Fantastible. It is a combination of the words “fantastic” and “horrible”. As a word, it mixes both meanings into one collective, emotional blend.

I use this word, because there is nothing fantastic about Christian community that isn’t, at the very same time, horrible. Depending on how last week went, most people reading this are going to agree with one word or the other – but few will agree with both. It is like looking at this drawing of the old woman/young woman. Some see the old woman, some see the young one. It is impossible to see both at the same time. When your experience of other Christians is “fantastic” it is hard to believe it is horrible. When it is “horrible”, nothing is going to convince you any time soon that it is fantastic. Let me give an example from my own life. Read the rest of this entry ?


Momentary Pain or Future Agony

October 2, 2008

The man has a pain in his molar. He knows he should go to a dentist and have it taken care of. But he doesn’t like pain and he doesn’t like dentists. So he pops some Ibuprofen and goes back to work. Three weeks later, he has an abscess and an infected mouth and must endure a series of visits to the dentist, causing untold agony and obliterating any sense of well-being he had.

The teen girl knows the guy she is dating is bad news. He demands that she stop seeing all her friends. He won’t take no for an answer when they’re making out. She knows she should break it off, but she can’t stand the thought of what he will say to her when she does. So she continues to go out with him, smoking dope when she doesn’t want to, having sex Read the rest of this entry ?

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